Fun
Un article de WindowsLinux.net - Astuces pour Windows et Linux !.
Ici se trouvent plusieurs choses drôles.
Sommaire |
God creates the world...
In the beginning was the computer.
:Let there be light!
You have not signed on yet.
:God.
Enter user password.
:Omniscient.
Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Omnipotent.
Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Technocrat.
And God signed on 12:01 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
:Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command. Try again!
:Create light.
Done.
:Run heaven and earth.
And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God signed off at 12:02 a.m., Sunday, March 1. Approx. funds remaining: $92.50. And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.
:Let there be firmament in the midst of the water and
Unrecognizable command! Try again!
:Create firmament.
Done.
:Run firmament.
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2. Approx. funds remaining: $84.60. And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
:Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and
Too many characters in string specification! Try again.
:Create dryland.
Done!
:Run dryland.
And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3. Approx. funds remaining: $65.00. And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.
Unspecified type. Try again!
:Create sunmoonstars.
And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4. Approx. funds remaining: $54:00. And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
:Create fish.
Done.
:Create fowl.
Done.
:Run fish'nfowl.
And God created the great seamonsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. 0 errors. And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5. Approx. funds remaining: $45.00. And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.
:Create cattle.
Done.
:Create creepy things.
Done.
:Now let us make man in our image.
Unspecified type! Try again.
:Create man.
Done.
:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over of the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.
Too many command operands! Try again.
:Run multiplication.
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
:Insert breath.
O.K.
:Run multiplication.
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
:Move man to Garden of Eden.
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
:Create Gard.En.
Done.
:Move man to Gard.En.
O.K.
:Run multiplication.
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
:Copy woman from man.
O.K.
:Run multiplication.
Execution terminated. 3 errors.
:Insert woman into man.
Illegal parameters. Try again!
:Insert man into woman.
O.K.
:Run multiplication.
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
:Create desire.
Done.
:Run multiplication.
And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En. Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create freewill.
Done.
:Run freewill.
And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En. Warning No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Undo desire.
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
- Destroy freewill.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Help!
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed., Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Create Treeofknowledge.
And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En. Warning
: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create good'nevil.
Done.
:Activate evil.
And God saw he had created shame. Warning: System error in sector E95. Man'nwoman not in Gard.En. 1 errors.
:Scan Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
Man'nwoman cannot be located. Try again!
:Search Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
Search failed.
:Delete shame.
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
:Destroy freewill.
Freewill an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
:Stop!
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
:Break
- Break
:Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE SIGN OFF.
:Create new world.
You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
:Destroy earth.
Destroy earth. Please confirm.
:Destroy earth confirmed.
COMPUTER DOWN. COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME ON SUNDAY MARCH 8 AT 6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW! And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6. And God saw he had zero funds remaining.
Source : http://internet.ls-la.net/folklore/world.html
fr.misc.bavardages.linux
Message de la discussion Newbie: Choix d'une distrib linux?
Thomas Nemeth
17 mar 2002, 12:18
Groupes de discussion : fr.misc.bavardages.linux
De : Thomas Nemeth <tnem...@free.fr>
Date : 17 Mar 2002 11:18:29 GMT
Date/heure locale : Dim 17 mar 2002 12:18
Objet : Re: Newbie: Choix d'une distrib linux?
Le dim 17 mar 2002 à 10:05, Frederic Dupas a tapoté :
| En bavardant, Thomas Nemeth nous a raconté :
| >Le sam 16 mar 2002 à 22:36, Nicolas LS a tapoté :
| >|
| >| Ouais, que 30 000 gènes, dont certains ne servent a rien...
| >
| > Ce sont des commentaires.
|
| Ca me rappelle ce que l'on m'a raconté au boulot :
| quelqu'un avait conseillé de supprimer les commentaires des logiciels
| pour qu'ils demandent moins de mémoire dans les produits.
Hum... Voici en exclusivité l'interprêtation finale du
génome humain :
L'ADN dévoile enfin ses secrets : 70% de commentaires !
Pendant de nombreuses années, les biologistes moléculaires sont restés perplexes devant le fait qu'une portion très faible de l'ADN d'un organisme vivant est utile.
Aujourd'hui, j'ai résolu le mystère (écrit Paul Maskens).
La raison pour laquelles seulement 30% de l'ADN humain est utile est que les 70% restant sont des commentaires ! Une fois que l'on a décodé un génome humain lambda, son contenu débute comme suit :
/* ADNHUMAIN.H
* Génome Humain
* Version 2.1
* (c) Dieu
*/
/* Historique des versions :
* 01-00-0000 00:00 1.0 Adam.
* 02-00-0000 10:00 1.1 Eve.
* 03-00-0000 02:11 1.2 Ajout du code pénis à la version male.
* Un peu brouillon --
* A réécrire plus tard pour le rendre plus clair.
* 12-03-0017 03:14 1.3 Ajout des commandes de sexe en plus à 'male.h' ;
* ai récupéré le code 'ADN_elephant.h'.
* 03-10-0145 16:33 1.4 Suppression de la queue.
* 31-00-1115 17:20 1.5 Ai raccourci les avant-bras, et agrandi la boite
* cranienne.
* 20-08-2091 13:56 1.6 Ajout des pouces opposés à la routine mains().
* 09-04-2501 14:04 1.7 Améliorations cosmétiques mineures -- ai noirci
* la couleur de la peau pour qu'elle corresponde à
* mon image.
* 12-07-2909 02:21 1.8 Dentition inapropriée ; ai ajouté des dents de
* "sagesse" en plus. Penser à rendre la machoire
* plus grande pour compenser.
* 31-12-4501 14:18 1.9 Augmentation de la taille moyenne.
* 12-02-5533 17:09 2.0 Ai ajouté l'option homo(sexuel) à cause de la
* surpopulation, afin de ralentir son accélération.
* 04-11-6004 16:11 2.1 Index rétréci pour qu'il soit à la taille du trou
* au centre d'un CD.
*/
/*Définitions standards
*/
#define SEXE male
#define TAILLE 1.84
#define POIDS 68
/* Inclus les traits de caractère hérités des
* fichiers ADN parents.
* Les fichiers doivent etre préprocessés par le
* programme MENDEL afin d'avoir les bonnes
* caractéristiques d'héritage.
*/
#include "mere.h"
#include "pere.h"
#ifndef PERE
#warn("Père inconnu -- j'essaie de deviner")
#include "batard.h"
#endif
/* Mise en place des variables et fonctions spécifiques au sexe.
*/
#include <sexe.h>
/* Code bordélique -- Je réécrirai le tout et l'inclurai dans une
* bibliothèque propre dans quelques temps.
*/
struct parties_genitales
{
#ifdef MALE
Penis *jt;
#endif
#ifdef FEMELLE
/* point_G *g; Retiré pour caude de debugging */
Vagin *p;
#endif
}
/* Routine d'initialisation du Bootstrap -- appelé avant la duplication
* de l'ADN. Allocation des buffers et mise en place des pointeurs de
* fichiers des protéines.
*/
ADN *zygote_init(Spermatozoide *, Ovule *);
/* CODE D'INITIALISATION PRINCIPAL
*
* Renvoie les structures contenant les phénotypes préprocessés pour que
* l'organisme les montre à la naissance.
*
* J'améliorerai la sortie plus tard pour qu'elle soit moins crade.
*/
Caracteristique *table_phenotype(Identifiant *i);
===
.etc.
[Notez que Dieu programme en C, qu'il utilise des tabulations de 3
espaces et des commentaires du type /* */]
Thomas
--
BOFH excuse #32:
Techtonic stress
Admin Spotting !
